Our dear King Claudius
Finally had the balls
To act so meritorious?
Or is it something else?
You know, there's something in the air
That tells me you are the type of product
That screams "Buyer, beware!"
O that this too too solid flesh would melt
And make it abundantly clear
That your are the type of person
Who pours poison in your brother's ear!
Cladius: You know Hamlet
I was going to give you a second chance
But you just had to piss me off
And now I'm sending you off to France!
Or if not France, England
At least there you'll give me some solidity
That way I don't have sit down and listen
To another god-damned soliloquy!
I gave you a chance to kill me
In fact, I was almost praying you would
And instead I got a Hamlet
Who struck out with the bases loaded
Hamlet: Alas, poor Claudius
There's a reason I didn't kill you
It's so I can look into your eyes
As I bid your life "Adieu"
What's wrong Claudius
Cat got your tongue?
Or it more because
The play exposed you in the wrong
I've never seen a man looked so scared
Or retreat with such haste.
Mayhaps you were bald-faced
Or better put shamefaced?
I bite my thumb at you sir
Or perhaps better put, a thrall
That way I can stab your life
To an end, once and for all
Claudius: When sorrows come,
they come not single spies
But rather in your case
As an eye for an eye
All I ever get from you
Is double, double toil and trouble
Perhaps you're better off acting as a Weird Sister
At least they might make your cauldron bubble
And unlike you
At least I can keep a secret
I don't go around blurting my plan
Leaving only one thing to interpret
You are dumb
Rather, you are dense
Let's just hope you're the only rotten thing in Denmark
That I have left to cleanse.
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